I bin dey expect say my comments for don reach like 1 million... ol'boy, na small dem use pass ten o. I dey find that cowhorn wey Mr. Fineboy dey use pull im crowd o, make him mix me dat concussion make my blog popular... If dat one nor work, na Presidential Power we go use. I go just make sure say Government pass law say all naija blogs - apart from the Office of the Blogger General - must pay VAT on every post - 10,000 naira (no receipt) per posting. I go come hold the monopoly of blogging, I go become the Dangote of Blogging. All of una go jus' bankrupt one time. Blogville go come become like cemetery:
- Here lies Mr Naija Fineboy's blog: 2006 - 2007.
- RIP - Baba Alaaye's blog (2006 - 2007)
- In Memoriam - Laspapi's blog (2006 - 2007)
- To Live in the hearts of those you love is not to die - Catwalq's blog (2006 - 2007)
- With gratitude to God for a blog well posted, we regret to announce the demise of our dearly beloved blog, grandblog and greatgrandblog, sani's-inSANIty.blogspot.com which sad event occured on the -- of ---, 200- in the steaming laps of two indian blogolets (blog-kokolets).
Meanwhile,
- TIME MAGAZINE BLOG OF THE YEAR 2096 - BLOGGER GENERAL'S BLOG
I beg una all. All my non-existent fans who have wasted transport money over and over again, coming to this blog, and receiving disappointment. I promise I shall refund all una transport money. it will not happen again.
But make we nor lie. Una no like me. Your own Blogger-General. Nobodi ask wheda EFCC flood don sweep me comot.
Make I tell una the reasons why I take forget blog:
1) Desperate Housewives. na in your blogger-general dey watch.
2) PHCN. Oga Umaru don command say Villa nor go dey use generator again. na PHCN we dey use. Leadership by example. If light nor dey, and gen nor dey, how I wan take blog blog?
3) EFCC. The fear of Nuhu is the beginning of contentment. Every night na dream I dey dream. Say Nuhu dey chase me. We plenti wey dey run. we jus dey run. Nuhu sef nor be one person for dat dream o. Na plenti Nuhu just hol' cutlass dey chase all of us. Na run we jus dey run. E get one ex-Governor (names withheld) wey dey run eh, im dey run, im breast (na man o, nor be woman, but breast dey) dey run, im stomach dey run, im cheek dey run, de back of im neck dey run. I dey wake up dey sweat. When I wake up I dey wonder why Nuhu dey chase me for dream. I never tief any money. Dem never give me budget, how I wan take tief money. Abi person fit tief im own personal money?
4) Search for First Lady of the Office of the Blogger General:
Na de koko be dis. The office of the Blogger General dey find befitting first lady for the position. Make una watch out for the vacancy wen im comot. But im go tough o.
The successful candidate must to pass plenty hurdles
- security screening (SSS, FIIB, Police, Civil Defence, NIA, Lastma, VIO, Army, OPC etc)
- IQ test.
- Senate Screwing, sorry, Screening...
- Father-in-Law test: (De rule of the Befitting Father-in-Law states that: If your Papa na poor man, then take heart. Na destiny. Person no fit choose im Papa. But if your father in law na poor man, na almighty everlasting bombastical mugun u be)
OK. dat one don do.
Story story! Story story! Story Story!
Una hia of the oyinbo wey buy Bar Beach?
Na for dat Abacha time o... wen 419 still dey 100 level. Dis Oyinbo man, na im dem sell Bar Beach to am o. If you see de signatures wey de 419 boys take pack full the C of O. Na all the signature and thumbprint of all de head of state, prime minister, and governor general wey don rule dis country since 1914 na im dem forge pack full for the C of O.
De Oyinbo man convince one time.
Na when im land Naija, with im Julius Berger crane and machine, after dem don pack full for Bar Beach wan begin construction, na then wey kasala burst. Dem come begin dey tell am say as im come from yankee come buy bar beach, na de equivalent of say person comot naija go buy statue of liberty.
Wetin remind me of de tori? Na Osoufia song "I go chop your dollar". The yeye man carry de song go do show for Holland, dey sing "I go chop ya dollar". Na handcuff im chop last last. I hia say Oyinbo police raid de show pack almost all the naija wey dey dere enter prison. Na Osoufia cause am. Why im go dey go sing dat kin song for Oyinbo land, dey taunt dem?
Na so Basket Mouth sef go Austria a while ago dey go misyarn, tink say na joke im dey crack. All dese yeye people wey luck smile upon, collect visa, enter oyinbo man land, make person go warn dem say oyinbo man land nor be nigeria, ponmo nor be leather...
