What the Enemies did to Laspapi's Name

Laspapi na winch o. Im put me live for the Laspapi -ovation Times newspaper front page, na instantly wey i become the first and only celebrity blogger in naija... the visitors book for my office don full sef pass the visitors book for the presidential office... Laspapi, I salute una o. Thank you for de honor wey una do me o.

In reciprocation of de goodwill na im i say make i slot laspapi name into the presidential list of nominees for political appointment aka "come-and-eat-and-clean-mouth-and-go-away". I recommend Laspapi to President Yar'Adua for the position of "Acting Deputy Senior Special Assistant to the President on Celtel phone calls, yahoomail, and Hi5 matters". The occupier of dis position na im work to dey carry the calls wey enta the Presidential Celtel line, to dey open the presidential yahoo mail, and to dey maintain the presidential profile on Hi5. Na powerful position o, i tell you.

But, i no know say ota po ju enemy lo... (opponent plenty pass enemy). By the time de list dey reach national assembly for discussion, somebody don do magic substitute laspapi name comot de list.

Chei, people wicked o! i no know who substitute dat name comot. e pain me o. de way we dey tamper with list for this naija i tire o. na monkey go win governosrship primaries na baboon go come contest election. na one person go do interview, pass, na another person go come resume job. Na boli go do work till month end, na epa go come collect salary!

Na Mr. A kill Bola Ige, na Mr B. Ehindero go parade for NTA say na de murderer be dat. (Btw Ehindero for kuku tell us say na dat same drug baron kill Alfred Rewane, Dikibo, Dele Giwa, Funso Williams, Dr. Daramola, Harry Marshal, etc etc)

U hia de tori of the naija football team (under-21 abi na under-19) wey go soccer competition for Israel? After dem don win competition finish na im all of dem find their levels o; enta jerusalem and gaza strip and west bank and bethlehem in search of pastures greener than a soccer pitch. The whole team o, plus including coach. dem miss completely. Na im another set of naija players wey also don collect israel visa quickly enter Jerusalem from Lagos to COLLECT the Cup. As those ones too collect cup finish, na im dem sef miss for israel o... the stupid israel people no know say no be de same team wey win competition wey collect cup...

na dat same way wey sunny ade and KWAM 1 and Obey band dey miss for european tour... imagine, the poor musician go carry complete band enta europe for band, but when showtime come, na soundtrack im go use sing because all im boys don wave comot... na full band dem go carry go, na only instrument and band leader go take return flight to naija