Thursday, September 13, 2007

Nigerian banks 'use women' to lure customers????????????

Nigerian banks 'use women' to lure customers
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=68&art_id=nw20070913120635493C877298

Nigerian banks must stop using attractive women to persuade customers to open accounts, Senate President David Mark was quoted as saying in Thursday's newspapers.
Mark said that despite a consolidation of the sector in 2005 that reduced the number of banks to 25 from 89 and was supposed to make them more efficient, many banks still used women to attract new business.
"Banks have made it a policy to employ beautiful ladies and give them targets to meet," Mark said during the inauguration of the new Senate committee on banking and insurance on Wednesday.
"This is unacceptable and must stop. You ordered the consolidation, so I think you must do something to stop it," he said, addressing officials of the central bank.
"We thought that with the consolidation in the banking sector, the banks will have enough money and capacity to get customers. Why is it that all these girls are now moving around hustling as if they are looking for something other than money?"

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ABEG MY PEOPLE, MAKE UNA TRY READ DE STORY AGAIN. DE TITLE SAY NAIJA BANKS DEY USE "WOMEN" ATTRACT DEPOSIT. WOMEN, SIMPLE. DE BODY OF THE TORI COME CHANGE AM TO "ATTRACTIVE WOMEN":

"Nigerian banks must stop using ATTRACTIVE WOMEN to persuade customers to open accounts, Senate President David Mark was quoted as saying in Thursday's newspapers."

SO NA WOWO WOMAN MAKE OUR BANK DEY USE ABI? ABEG, MR DAVID MARKED, MAKE I ASK YOU QUESTION. (ABEG NOR VEX O, SAY AS I BE CIVIL SERVANT PLUS POLITICAL APPOINTEE, WETIN GIVE ME AUTHORITY TO DEY CHALLENGE A WHOLE MR. SENATE PRESIDO):

NA MY QUESTION BE DIS:


IMAGINE DIS:

YOU DEY SIDDON FOR OFFICE, ONE EARLY MOMO, DEY TRY USE CALCULATOR CALCULATE HOW MUCH YOU GO NEED RENOVATE YOUR RESIDENCE, OR WEDA IM GO PAY PASS MAKE YOU UPGRADE AM INSTEAD, UR SEKETARY COME ENTA TELL YOU SAY WAN WOMAN DEY FIND YOU, SAY SHE SAY SHE DEY WORK FOR XYZ BANK PLC. YOU SAY MAKE DE GIRL ENTER. THE GIRL ENTA. AS SHE ENTA, YOU FIRST NO SURE WEDA SHE BE MAN ABI SHE BE WOMAN, SHE WOWO SO TAY, SENATE MACE VEX, FALL FOR IM STAND FOR BEHIND YOUR DESK. SHE WEAR SKIRT WEY BE LIKE WEDDING GOWN, COME WEAR ONE JACKET WEY DE WOOL DEY STAND LIKE SAY GOOSE PIMPLES CATCH THE CLOTH. IM TEETH BE LIKE SAY IM DON DEY CHOP KOLA FROM SINCE IM MAMA WOMB. YANSH, IM NOR GET. IM HAIR BE LIKE SAY MAKE YOU VEX CARRY PHONE ASK MADAM ETTEH MAKE IM COME SEE CLIENT WEY GO NEED IM MAGIC HAIRDRESSING TOUCH. WHEN DE WOMAN COME OPEN MOUTH, BEGIN DEY SPEAK, NA IM MOUTH ODOUR OFF YOUR CALCULATOR ONE TIME...

NOW, TELL ME, SIR, HOW YOU GO TAKE GIVE DAT KIN' WOWO DEPOSIT MOBILISATION OFFICER ONE KOBO OF YOUR MONEY? HOW YOU WAN TAKE OPEN ACCOUNT FOR DAT KIND BANK WEY FIT SEND WOWO CHIC COMOT. IMPOSSICANT!


BUT THEN, CONSIDER AM LIKE DIS O. IF YOU NO PATRONISE AM, GIVE AM DEPOSIT, HOW OGA TONY AND OGA JIM AND OGA AIG AND OGA LADI AND OGA ERASTUS AND OGA MADAM CECILIA, HOW DEM GO TAKE CHOP? HOW DEM GO TAKE BUY FINE FINE CAR? HOW DEM GO TAKE PAY ALL DOSE FAT FAT DIVIDEND? HOW OGA JIM GO TAKE BUY AIRCONDITION SPEEDBOAT? HOW IM GO TAKE ANNOUNCE ALL THOSE MAGIC NUMBERS WEY DEY Z.B. ANNUAL REPORT?

AM I COMMUNICATING?


SO, THE PURPOSE OF MY ARGUMENTATION IS HOPEFULLY TO CONVINCE YOU DAT OUR BANKS NEED ATTRACTIVE GIRLS. DAT IS WHY OUR BANKS SUPPOSE BEGIN DEY SPONSOR BEAUTY PAGEANT LIKE NO MAN'S BUSINESS. WINNERS WILL BE GIVEN AUTOMATIC EMPLOYMENT AS MARKETERS A.K.A DEPOSIT MOBILISATION AND MAINTENANCE EXECUTIVE.

21ST CENTURY NAIJA BANK JOB VACANCY ADVERT:

OUR CLIENT NA BIG NIGERIAN TOP-25 BANK. DEM DEY FIND BANKING EXECUTIVE. FEMALES ONLY SHOULD APPLY. MALES, FUCK OFF!INTERESTED APPLICANTS MAKE UNA APPLY WITH 12 COLOURED 5 BY 7 PHOTO, AND ONE PACKET OF USED CONDOMS WITH EVIDENCE SAY NA UNA USE AM OR NA ON TOP UNA DEM USE AM. BRA-AND-PINT WEARING WOMEN, PLEASE STAY AT HOME. NO SHOW UNA FACE FOR HERE!!!!! MAKE UNA GO JOIN CHOIR.


CONCLUSIONS

ABEG STOP DISCRIMINATION AGAINST FINE FINE GALS JARE. ALL FINE CHIQUITOS IN THE HOUSE, CARRY GO!!!!! IF YOU SHARP, MAKE UNA INVADE NATIONAL ASSEMBLY QUICK QUICK. NA DERE DEPOSIT MONEY BOKU PASS. DE BALANCE OF DAT 628 MILLION RENOVATION MONEY GO STILL DEY SOME GHANA-MUST-TO-GO SOMEWHERE FOR NATIONAL ASSEMBLY PREMISES, MAKE YOU HURRY GO SHAKE BOOTY AT OUR LAWMAKERS MAKE DEM DEPOSIT THE MONEY FOR BANK. GOD BLESS YOU AS YOU DO SO. HALLELUJAH! I TELL YOU, YOUR LIVES WILL NOT REMAIN THE SAME AGAIN...

PS. DE WAY OGA SENATOR GENERAL MARKED DEY TALK, E BE LIKE SAY SOME OF THOSE GALS DON SHOW AM O... NO BE ME TALK AM O... IF MY ABUJA OGAS CATCH ME SAY A WHOLE BLOGGER-GENERAL NA IM DEY MISYARN LIKE DIS, HMMMM.... NA ANDOAKAA (ABI WETIN BE OGA ATTORNEY GENERAL NAME AGAIN) GO FINISH MY LIFE...


24 comments:

Anonymous said...

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P.S. No mind those people wey dey form say dem no miss u, ur fans plenty for asorock here. Infact oga Goodluck and Segun Adeniyi say na from u wey dem dey take get their ïntelligence briefings". LOL.

NaijaFlyer

Blogger-General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria said...

bros/sis,
u be first person for my blog, yet una nor scream "I'm FIIIRRSST!!!!!" Why? You yeye o. Your mates dey scream NA ME FIRST for blongville, you just dey do one kain humbility... take ya time o.

Thank you jare, for showing face. Na true o, I fit be one of ur guys, abi now? Make I ask, anonymous na ya firstname abi ya surname?

PS. Na true say u dey aso rock?

Anonymous said...

Wow! Okay na me be second. General na u biko, I reside in London and I love ur blog. I read in the papers here in London about it and found it hilarious. If d man dem no fit commot thier eye from fine babe and concerntrate on deposting or withdrawing their money then they only have themselves to blame as they no get self control. If fit be say one of the babes them don show Oga Mark pepper and im dey retaliate. His job na to ensure the country dey run efficiently and not distract Naija's from the slow porgress the curent regime is making.

LurLar said...

Hmmmmmmmmm nice blog!!! The guy no sabi wetin e go talk,all women are supposed to attractive. Even in overseas if you fat,nd shapeless you av a very slim chance of getting d job.

Anonymous said...

My sentiments exactly.if david mark cant control his raving hormones, he should take a cold shower

Femme said...

mehn! u are so funny.
but you no dey try o.
you just come in anytime u like abi?

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o boy, I owe you peppersoup. Make you just take am flezure for dia.

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1st time on your blog
this post is classic! how come you've not updated in a while?

pleaseeeeeee update!

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