I bin dey expect say my comments for don reach like 1 million... ol'boy, na small dem use pass ten o. I dey find that cowhorn wey Mr. Fineboy dey use pull im crowd o, make him mix me dat concussion make my blog popular... If dat one nor work, na Presidential Power we go use. I go just make sure say Government pass law say all naija blogs - apart from the Office of the Blogger General - must pay VAT on every post - 10,000 naira (no receipt) per posting. I go come hold the monopoly of blogging, I go become the Dangote of Blogging. All of una go jus' bankrupt one time. Blogville go come become like cemetery:
- Here lies Mr Naija Fineboy's blog: 2006 - 2007.
- RIP - Baba Alaaye's blog (2006 - 2007)
- In Memoriam - Laspapi's blog (2006 - 2007)
- To Live in the hearts of those you love is not to die - Catwalq's blog (2006 - 2007)
- With gratitude to God for a blog well posted, we regret to announce the demise of our dearly beloved blog, grandblog and greatgrandblog, sani's-inSANIty.blogspot.com which sad event occured on the -- of ---, 200- in the steaming laps of two indian blogolets (blog-kokolets).
Meanwhile,
- TIME MAGAZINE BLOG OF THE YEAR 2096 - BLOGGER GENERAL'S BLOG
I beg una all. All my non-existent fans who have wasted transport money over and over again, coming to this blog, and receiving disappointment. I promise I shall refund all una transport money. it will not happen again.
But make we nor lie. Una no like me. Your own Blogger-General. Nobodi ask wheda EFCC flood don sweep me comot.
Make I tell una the reasons why I take forget blog:
1) Desperate Housewives. na in your blogger-general dey watch.
2) PHCN. Oga Umaru don command say Villa nor go dey use generator again. na PHCN we dey use. Leadership by example. If light nor dey, and gen nor dey, how I wan take blog blog?
3) EFCC. The fear of Nuhu is the beginning of contentment. Every night na dream I dey dream. Say Nuhu dey chase me. We plenti wey dey run. we jus dey run. Nuhu sef nor be one person for dat dream o. Na plenti Nuhu just hol' cutlass dey chase all of us. Na run we jus dey run. E get one ex-Governor (names withheld) wey dey run eh, im dey run, im breast (na man o, nor be woman, but breast dey) dey run, im stomach dey run, im cheek dey run, de back of im neck dey run. I dey wake up dey sweat. When I wake up I dey wonder why Nuhu dey chase me for dream. I never tief any money. Dem never give me budget, how I wan take tief money. Abi person fit tief im own personal money?
4) Search for First Lady of the Office of the Blogger General:
Na de koko be dis. The office of the Blogger General dey find befitting first lady for the position. Make una watch out for the vacancy wen im comot. But im go tough o.
The successful candidate must to pass plenty hurdles
- security screening (SSS, FIIB, Police, Civil Defence, NIA, Lastma, VIO, Army, OPC etc)
- IQ test.
- Senate Screwing, sorry, Screening...
- Father-in-Law test: (De rule of the Befitting Father-in-Law states that: If your Papa na poor man, then take heart. Na destiny. Person no fit choose im Papa. But if your father in law na poor man, na almighty everlasting bombastical mugun u be)
OK. dat one don do.
Story story! Story story! Story Story!
Una hia of the oyinbo wey buy Bar Beach?
Na for dat Abacha time o... wen 419 still dey 100 level. Dis Oyinbo man, na im dem sell Bar Beach to am o. If you see de signatures wey de 419 boys take pack full the C of O. Na all the signature and thumbprint of all de head of state, prime minister, and governor general wey don rule dis country since 1914 na im dem forge pack full for the C of O.
De Oyinbo man convince one time.
Na when im land Naija, with im Julius Berger crane and machine, after dem don pack full for Bar Beach wan begin construction, na then wey kasala burst. Dem come begin dey tell am say as im come from yankee come buy bar beach, na de equivalent of say person comot naija go buy statue of liberty.
Wetin remind me of de tori? Na Osoufia song "I go chop your dollar". The yeye man carry de song go do show for Holland, dey sing "I go chop ya dollar". Na handcuff im chop last last. I hia say Oyinbo police raid de show pack almost all the naija wey dey dere enter prison. Na Osoufia cause am. Why im go dey go sing dat kin song for Oyinbo land, dey taunt dem?
Na so Basket Mouth sef go Austria a while ago dey go misyarn, tink say na joke im dey crack. All dese yeye people wey luck smile upon, collect visa, enter oyinbo man land, make person go warn dem say oyinbo man land nor be nigeria, ponmo nor be leather...
20 comments:
u don craze finish!!! that was sooooooooooo hira rira lira, sorry h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s, LAWL. wonder why u dont have comments yet.
You've probably been away for too long.
Anyway, im first sha
..hehehehe..u are back, finally!
been away for far toooooooo long haba!
o boy, welcome back o.i hear say dem don steal ur toplap, na so u no fit blog again. And for your story wey dem sell bar-beach, O boy, dem suppose slap the person wey even buy am sef.
why u dey lie say we no ask of u.
u no see my comments?
no make I flog u o
how u dey sha?
Blogger General, I don get position for u for my catwalq International Academie
hahaha! tears are streaming down my face. Can't believe this is my first time here. I continue to be impreessed by certain Nigerian blogs. This is one of them!
Your EFCC dream cracked me up no be small. Considering i just did a post about EFCC. Your description of the governor and his breasts and cheeks flapping away as her ran...PRICELESS!!!!
Welcome back, sha!
where u dey, u see why people no dey branch here.
u suppose go everybody blog and leave comment, na dat dem dey take trace go back your joint. mumu.
where u dey? cos if u disappear like last time, na aboki go cut the pasan I go take flog you
Everybodi wey don show, I thank una. Please spread the news that Baba is back!
my pen my paper, na true. na naija delta militants wey kidnap my laptop abi toplap abi wetin u call am...
Catwalq, thank you. who am I to say no to the position you have for me? Na the "international" wey dey the academie name wey dey trip me pass.
Send me more details ASAP.
I go dey go reserve seat for everyody blog tell dem say I don return (na pseudo-independent wey first start dat ting, dey "reserve space" for every blog wey im jam, de yeye man)
This guy is off the hook
Na dis dem go take sack you from blogville.
u no know u suppose dey update.
finally!!!! he don come back
Welcome back. No worry. Nuhu no fit catch you. All na HOLOGRAM.
Abeg forget Nepa make you dey blog regularly
hahaha. you want to kill me with lafta abi?
walahi i know i will dream of nuhu ribadu's breast this night.
wow! that was funny.
meanwhile, which kain oyinbo mumu be dat? but as for, i know blame am.
oyibo go hear this one, talk say na we bad pass but the eiffel tower has been 'sold' at least 3 times too.
new to your blog and loving it.
be back soon.
this is wat i call were
after u go they vex say den no find you.
Catwalq International Academie III is here!!!!!
So you don come back? After I don waste Okada money come here 50 times no see you, I just fashi your side. Thank God o! I been think say Nuhu don carry you
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